My Spiritual Journey: From the Crematorium to the Truth
Since childhood, I was not an ideal son who obeyed my parents. I would always do something that would make them worried. A few years passed like this, but gradually I started to feel that if there was any problem in the house, the blame would be put on me. Along with this, I would also get a reward – scolding from my father and my mother always worried about me.
My mind was always free of restrictions. My hobbies were also different from ordinary children—wandering in the jungles, eating raw vegetables, getting drenched in the rain, sleeping on the mud. All these became my daily habits. I got a unique pleasure from this. But gradually I found that my interest was not limited to these things only. I started getting inclined towards those saints and sages, whose words touched the depths of this universe.
The direction of my thinking and life started changing. Now my mind started getting attracted towards things that were beyond the material. I felt a fire of quest within me- to find the truth, to know myself. And in this journey, I chose a different path for myself.
When I was just 15-16 years old, other people were interested in travelling and the glamour of the world. But I started liking solitude. And that too not ordinary solitude- the solitude of the crematorium. I would experience peace there, it would seem as if I had a connection with this place from many births. I would go to the crematorium and and I forgot about the world and its reality, I would not know when morning turned into afternoon, afternoon into night and then morning again.
Whenever I told anyone that I liked the crematorium, people laughed and made fun of me. But gradually, this choice of mine started separating me from everyone. But this separation was not a pain for me, rather it was an inner happiness. I started feeling completeness within myself.
The material pleasures of this world started appearing false to me. The mystery of life and death kept provoking my mind. Where people used to look at the crematorium with fear, I started seeing the essence of life in it.
The depths of solitude and the search for truth
The silence of the crematorium attracted me. I would sit there and think for hours, and get lost in meditation. It seemed as if the ashes here, the peace here, the flames of the pyre here wanted to tell me something. Slowly, I came to know that death is not an end, but a door to a new beginning.
This journey changed me from within. Now I was not just a person, but had become an explorer. A soul wandering in search of truth. A traveller understanding the transience of life.
Today, when I look back, I feel that this attraction, this pull was not just a coincidence. It was the call of my soul, which was leading me towards the truth.
The crematorium was not just a pile of ashes and bones. It was the place where the ignorance within me was burnt and the flame of knowledge was ignited. This was my spiritual birth. This was the beginning of my journey.